I have spent my whole life confined inside a pretty, little box. The box of limiting beliefs, self-sabotage, and feelings of imposter syndrome.

Don’t get me wrong – the box is an okay place to be. The box keeps me safe; it’s familiar; it’s comfortable.

However, the box is limiting, confusing, and sometimes suffocating. Every time I try to raise the lid, it slams back shut and I am left feeling trapped, stuck, lost, frustrated, and exasperated. It can be debilitating.

There are many individuals who would like to see me remain in the box. They monitor the lid and like to keep their hand on it. For many of those people, it is an automatic protective response. For some, it may be envy or lack of understanding.

So here I have been in the box for over a quarter of a century now (man, that makes me sound old and I’m really not). I’ve lifted the lid numerous times and heck; I’ve even jumped out once or twice. Time and time again, I find my way back into the imprisoning space, back to doubt and fear.

I am finally at a point in my journey, after much introspection, development, and doing the inner work, where I recognize that I don’t need that box anymore. I yearn for freedom. I am ready to step into the version of myself I am truly meant to be, that isn’t bound by anyone else’s expectations and opinions. It’s me against the world, my friends.

So, what does this have to do with the terms ‘or’ and ‘and’? Well, after a recent conversation I had with my life coach, I realized I can start stepping out of the box by first adjusting my verbiage in how I talk about my abilities and talents. What do I mean by this? Well, my word choice has contributed to the limiting beliefs I hold about myself. Here are some examples…

I have a bachelor’s degree in mathematics. I can’t be a writer!

I am good at problem-solving, logic, puzzles, and analyzing things. I mustn’t be very creative then.

I am too sensitive and emotional to be a leader.

I can’t move across the country without ruining all my relationships.

I can either choose fitness and obtain a thinner body or I can choose loving food and being overweight.

Now, only that last statement contained an ‘or,’ but you can see how each of these beliefs are either-or statements. Are they true? Absolutely not. Although, my mind has done a wonderful job at wording these statements in a manner that is quite convincing.

The point is that the conversation I had with my life coach helped me realize the benefit in replacing the ‘or’ mentality with an ‘and’ one. Going forward, I am making a conscientious effort to say these statements (out loud is helpful) using ‘and’ instead.

I am a mathematician AND a writer.

I am a problem solver AND creative.

I am sensitive and emotional AND that will serve me well as an empathetic and compassionate leader.

I can move across the country AND still have flourishing relationships with my friends and loved ones.

I can choose fitness AND love food AND accept my body size.

How powerful is that? A simple swap – from ‘or’ to ‘and’. And wah-la! I can be it all!

What are some limiting beliefs you all have? What holds you back and keeps you stuck in the pretty, little box? Comment below – I would love to know how you are reframing those ‘or’ statements.

Talk soon and keep winging it.

xo,

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